Mompetition

 N.B.: I started this post awhile ago, but wasn't exactly sure what to write. However, a few articles some of my friends have posted recently inspired me to dig it up again and finish it. I wanted to acknowledge mompetition and convey that I understand why it exists, but also that we need to get past this [seemingly innate behaviour] and stop bringing down our fellow mommies. 


mompetition: [mom-pi-tish-uhn] ~ noun

• sometimes-not-so-unspoken competition between moms involving children's development and achievements as well as parenting styles & choices

     I think it is inherent for parents to be competitive of one another when it comes to child-rearing; it is part of our biological make-up. In theory, biology drives us to strive for our offspring to be the best and most likely to succeed in order to attract a worthy mate with whom to procreate and further the species with our obviously superior genes. 
I suppose humans aren't so purely animalistic, but I still believe our instinctively competitive antics are biologically rooted. Having said all that, mompetition can be really exasperating. For the first six months or so of Laura's life I was, well, opinionated, and at times outspokenly so. Then I saw this (and realized how irritating I was probably being):

      I am definitely still opinionated (and actually side with the blonde mom on many of her parenting choices), but this made me realize that I needed to harness my superfluous outbursts if I wanted any mommy friends. ;)

     Having unknowingly succumb to my instinctual, mompetitive ways, I can justly say that I completely understand why mompetition exists. I have spent countless hours researching which parenting styles we would put into practice in our home. I can't help but take offense when someone disagrees with me, because I have spent so much time searching out the consensual best methods. I willingly accept new (credible) information, and I thrive on Been There Done That moms' advice. I also willingly give advice as I see fit (probably some of it still unwanted, though I have been making an effort to do so more tactfully). And I know, I know what you're going to say: "what works for some people doesn't work for everyone". While I agree that in many cases this is true, sometimes I feel like people can use this as an excuse for lazy parenting. 

     As far as development and achievements go, I stated before, I understand the innate compulsion to compare and want your kid to be the best. But, as an advanced species, I feel we as adult humans should be able to can harness and control these id-ridden impulses. Everyone is different. Every child is different. We all grow and develop at different rates and different times. Why can't people just accept that without the need to constantly measure their child against everyone else's? 

     If you're friends with me on Facebook, you'll know it's no secret that I am a lactavist and a cloth diaper advocate, among many of my other 'crunchy' parenting choices. And I'll be honest, I still struggle with my 'Judgy von HolierThanThou' attitude towards other moms. But, I really believe that fostering positive relations and generally having good karma is more important than those things. Above all else, we need to encourage one another to help raise our children in loving and nurturing environments. That is all.