Sibling Rivalry

     For the first four or five months after Rachel was born, she was pretty laid back and low maintenance. This seemed to resonate well with Laura. But after all the shenanigans Rachel and I have endured from the time she was about six months (re: nursing/ milk supply, etc), she has really found her "voice" in letting us know when she needs us. I am not saying she is a needy or high maintenance baby, but she has definitely learned how to demand our attention when needed.
     Lately, Laura has been demonstrating her dislike for the attention that Rachel gets (which, let's be honest, is still less than the attention that Laura gets) in the form of "violent affection". Laura, too, certainly knows how to get our attention when she wants it. Although it is getting a little better now, the last couple of weeks have been especially rough. Whenever Rachel is out crawling and cruising, Laura will go over and give her a 'headlock' kiss or hug, which more often than not ends in Rachel falling over and/ or hurting herself. This enrages me because Rachel is too little to defend herself, and that's not fair. Laura knows she is being too rough. She knows Rachel doesn't like it. And she knows how to show affection nicely. So, I am concluding that she is doing this because she is taking out her frustrations of not having 100% of my attention all the time on the person who is depriving her of that. Because it gets her (negative) attention when she does do it. I've tried being enraged. I've tried asking her nicely to stop. I've tried time outs. I've tried ignoring her and focusing on Rachel in these situations. None of these things have worked to decrease the behaviour. The only thing that seems to work is to give Laura more attention. But, realistically, she already gets a lot of my attention (as I said before, way more than Rachel gets) and I can't give her my attention 100% of the time. I have things to do, another child, etc. And it is not healthy for either of us for her to have so much of my attention. I am resentful that I can't spend more time with Rachel, or for myself, or on things that need to get done, and she needs to learn to share her mommy and how to entertain herself when I'm busy.
     And so, I'm not entirely sure what to do. I really want them to get along and be best friends since there will only ever be the two of them. And I think parenting can play a huge role in how that relationship develops. We aspire to a 'gentle' parenting approach, and try to see and understand things from the child's point of view because they are human too. We attempt to model mutual respect because children learn from what they see, not what they are told to do. So, I'm open to trying any gentle parenting suggestions you may have!

Rachel: 11 Months

 Rachie is 11 months today! I can't believe she is almost 1! :) :(
Birthday preparations are in full swing. :)

In the past month, Rache has finally popped through some teeth (her bottom two, about two weeks ago.) She has also avidly been practicing her diaper-changing contortionism. It's somewhat akin to wrestling a crocodile (or so I imagine), more often than not covered in poo. Good times. And to fuel all the poo she makes, she continues to eat well, often more than her three year old sister. For example, at breakfast it is not uncommon for her to down an entire banana, a whole piece of bread, along with a bowl of yogurt, or something else. I'm sure we'll hit the Picky-Eating Toddler wall soon enough, though I'm currently waiting for a growth spurt, as she has been having hiccups a lot lately (anyone else notice that correlation?).
We are still struggling along with nursing. I am taking two fenugreek capsules a day and sometimes a cup of nursing tea, which allows me to make enough milk for about six feedings: usually upon waking, before morning nap, after lunch, late afternoon, before bed, and one middle of the night. She also usually takes one bottle still either when she goes to bed or when we go to bed. I would rather her not have formula at all, but apparently my body has other plans, and I place far too much of my perceived self-worth in my ability to produce milk. :( I am still planning to nurse her until she is at least two, as long as she wants to continue. I could see her weaning before then, though, as she is not an overly cuddly kid/ does not seem to derive a lot of comfort from nursing. I guess we'll see.
She is down to one nap most days now, and takes them fairly early (usually from around 10:00 until 11:30 or so). The odd day she will need an afternoon nap as well, but not that often anymore. I was kind of hoping she would take a good 2 - 3 hour nap when she went down to one like Laura did, but I guess not.
She is cruising around the furniture more and more, though still prefers crawling to get around. I'm sure it won't be too much longer until she walks, though! She is also standing up unassisted for longer and longer periods now, and she has even climbed down off the bed and the couch a few times all by herself. She continues to love bopping along to music with her 'neck dance', but also by bouncing her legs now. So cute.
One of her new loves are Touch 'n Feel books. One of her new hates is the bath. She screams bloody murder the whole time, so we only do them every other day and as quickly as possible.
She has started saying more words this month, too. She can now say: bath, dog, bye, yum, MUAH, and maybe one or two more I can't remember right now. She also says MOM MOM MOM and DAD DAD DAD very regularly now, and in context.