In the last few days, Rage Pig has made a raging return. I mean, Laura is reasonably volatile at the best of times, but lately she has been uber fussy and completely intolerant, moody, and a general misery. Oh, and violent. In her defense, she had a good fever going on Sunday, but she no longer shows any outward signs deserving of increased attention or patience, making it very hard for me to sympathize with her.
For the last at least two weeks, she has been waking up as much as, if not more than, a newborn. (That automatically depletes a good portion of my patience quota right there. Ugh.) I don't know what is going on with her, but, once again, I can only hope it's a phase and I will be able to resume sleeping sometime soon. I was blaming it on her new teeth, but they're all through now, so I really don't know. Maybe it's a growth spurt.
I feel like I spend so much of my time as a mother having next to no clue what is going on with Laura. I guess to say that 'parenting has a learning curve' would be an under-statement. When we brought Laura home from the hospital, I was terrified of being responsible for caring for someone so tiny and fragile all on our own; I didn't know how to look after a baby! A lot of it is instinctive (thankfully), but nothing short of having your own children prepares you for how difficult it can be. Sure, people tell you that newborns don't sleep through the night, and that you'll be really tired... but for me, those words of wisdom went in one ear and right out the other. They didn't mean much until we were actually going through it in the moment. We were tired. We struggled to get along. I temporarily forgot most words that were more than four letters long. Oh yeah, this is what those
well-meaning people must have been talking about! But then they tell you it gets better:
"Babies sleep through the night eventually!"
"Give it 12-13 weeks!"
"Just wait until she reaches the magical, sleep-inducing weight of 11 pounds!"
Thanks for getting my hopes up, people. Now, at almost a year old and 17 pounds, my darling daughter still most certainly does NOT sleep through the night. (Even when she isn't rage pigging.) I don't know where your magical sleepy babies came from, but mine was from a different stork's nest!
I've read that it is actually more the exception to the rule that babies sleep through the night at an early age. Whether that is true or not, I don't know. But it made me feel a little better. I also read that babies who wake at night are less likely to die of SIDS. Another plus. And honestly, I don't mind waking once to get to cuddle and feed her, especially since she could use the calories, but these 1 - 2 hour stretches of sleep for Mom all night long lately is really turning me into a zombie. A grumpy, impatient zombie. I'm not one to do well on little sleep (and never have been).
When people (especially of the childless variety) ask me about how it's going, I try to give them an honest answer. It's NOT easy, and sometimes it's down right awful. There are, of course, joyous times as well, and usually they outweigh the bad (except today). Sometimes I wonder if the older generations are trying to trick us into furthering the human species by not really revealing how difficult it can be to raise kids. That, or there are just no words. I came across a quote the other day that made me sorta chuckle: "Children are a huge source of joy but they turn every other source of joy to shit.”
While this may be a bit extreme and not completely true, I'm glad that it seems our generation is being more honest about how much work and patience and time and and and... it takes to bring up a family.
So, after that whole Rage Pig-esque rant of my own, I would like to conclude with this quote:
"Parenting doesn’t plant a beatific smile on your face as much as
give you a kick in the butt to say that life is not all about you."
 |
| ~ Laura sends her love ~ |
Aww!! Jude went through a similar totally unsettled phase at 9 months. I remember thinking "I don't like this age, not one bit."
ReplyDeleteAnd it does get (a bit) better, but I know that's no consolation when you're exhausted. My advice. Get a babysitter, go to a movie and if need be, sleep through it.
Power to you all!!!
This sounds so miserable Jess, I really feel for you! Have you tried darkening curtains on her windows or putting black bristol board behind her curtains? I had to do that with Dash last summer when he went on a sleep strike. I know you're probably sick of people suggesting things to you, but I just have two more. Try something in her room for white noise, I used a humidifier for a while because who can't use more moisture in the air. And lastly, try getting her outside more. I know it's really hard now, since there's so much snow and you can't walk with a stroller, but just playing with her for 15 minutes outside on the lawn may make her that extra tired and you can get a good nap out of her. Hang in there, I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteFor the love of god, I am NOT sick of suggestions!
ReplyDeleteAnd in the great words of Jennie, "We're all faking out way through this together."
So please, I welcome suggestions. :)
I remember Toby hitting 13 months and me going "why do people say 'terrible twos'...YOU MEAN IT GETS WORSE??!?!?!!"
ReplyDeleteToby and I were MISERABLE form 13-15 months.
But, kids go through a major growth spurt at one year, 15 months and 18 months. It doesnt mean they'll shoot up two inches, but everything aches and their brain is learning to take in more than they can handle. Plus teething those last few teeth.
Toby still doesnt sleep well. He nurses and tosses and turns for 45 minutes before going to sleep and then wakes up every few hours after that. He used to be better but he's reverted back the last few weeks.
Some kids just don't like to sleep. There's too much going on in their head and too much they want to do and their body aches and they dont know why and they just want someone to make it stop... so they cry... a lot... constantly.
And at this point 'sleeping through the night' really means 4 hours in the middle of the night.... and I know it's not even that at the moment, but it means shes not THAT far off... sleeping 8-10 hours comes a lot later.
I'd love to offer worldy advice, but I dont have any lol. Just stick it out... as best you can... I like the "we;re faking our way through this together" line :)
I thought of some worldly advice while I was sleeping lol.
ReplyDeleteNot really to do with making her sleep... but just in the way you deal with it.
Just keep in mind that they way you react to her tantrums is the way she is going to learn how to deal with conflict later in life. If you yell and get visibly exasperated it will just make her more upset, which in turn fuels you and on it goes.
If you mentally step back and just say "i know youre frusterated... I know it hurts.." and when she IS quiet tell her constantly and quietly that she's a good girl, you will start to believe it too.
I've had many-a-scream-into-a-pillow days and it takes a few days to get over, but if you keep reminding yourself how she must feel and how miserable you would feel too if you had no way other than crying to express yourself... you'll start to feel sorry for her instead of just mad at her.
Take cat-naps through the day if you can... screw house-work while shes in a mood... force yourself to sleep whenever she does instead of getting chores done. Dont go anywhere or do anything stressful for a while.
Hang in there!
Thanks, ladies. The humidifier trick seemed to help last night, so that's a start. Today it is quite obvious that she has a cold now (she had been coughing a little here and there the last few days, but within the last 24 hours it has really escalated, and now she is sneezing and snotty to go along with it. yay)
ReplyDeleteShe does seem in a much better mood today, though... probably because she got a better sleep last night, thankfully.
And Erin, usually she "technically" sleeps through the night... she'lI go until about 4-5am.... but just lately she's had more disruptive sleep. Other than when she was a tiny baby, she really hasn't needed a lot of sleep. For the last little while she has been napping about 2 hours a day and then 11 hours at night. That's not very much for her age. But my mom said I didn't sleep a lot when I was a baby, either, and Josh was down to one nap by 6 months... They're all different, I guess! Hopefully next time we'll get a better sleeper. :)
I think I'm generally pretty good about not getting too mad at her when she's fussy... I realize she has no other way to express herself than by generic crying, so I try to understand. Sometimes I get exasperated and lose it but I try for those moments to be few and far between. I usually just whine back at her, "Laurrra, what's wrong?" haha. She'll probably turn out to be a whiner like her mama. Let's hope not, though. :)
lol It'll all come back to you when she's a teenager!! lol.
ReplyDeleteGlad she's in a better mood. My mom keeps saying to me too that babies seem to be more miserable before they get sick then when they actually are sick.
Lots of liquids and rest!!
Feel better Laura!