This morning Rachel woke up before Laura (as usual), but for once didn't wake her up. I quickly scooted out of bed to let Rachel out of their room (she still relies on other people to open doors for her), and she came and joined me in bed and asked to nurse. She is nursing less and less frequently these days, and I was more than willing to have some cuddle time in bed to slowly wake up. She nursed for over 20 minutes (extremely rare), and it was just so nice.
Fast forward to tonight. She recently has been stalling at bedtime for so long that she gets to a terrible, over-tired place where she cannot go to bed without tears, which I really dislike. Tonight was no different. As I lay in bed with her trying to sing softly and rub her back to calm her and transition to sleep, she was bouncing around wildly and being ridiculous. I told her several times I was going to leave if she didn't lie down and try to calm herself. So eventually, it came to that. I spelled off with Josh, hoping he would have better luck. Nope, worse. Stalling included two bathroom trips with him and negative progress in the calming down department. So eventually he left her up there, and she was crying, now in that over-tired state. Often, if we just give her a few minutes, she self-soothes and goes to sleep. She has always been a really great self-soother, and from day one has been able to put herself to sleep. But not tonight. I went back up and climbed into bed with her once more. She was ready to be calm now, and I was able to rub her back while we snuggled. She turned around and cuddled right into my chest, and within minutes was snoring. It was so lovely to be able (and needed) to put her to sleep like that. It makes me glad I haven't completely lost my little baby yet.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Happy Family
Tonight my bubble was burst. I go along thinking that we have it pretty good, I stay home and can be with the girls all day; we don't have a lot of stress and we aren't too busy - all things I have intentionally done to keep as much peace and harmony as possible. And though I am not perfect, I perceive that I am doing an all right job raising my girls. I mean, they are pretty awesome. I consider things happy. You know, for the most part, anyway.
But tonight I was reading to Laura while we were waiting for Rachel to fall asleep, as we do most nights, and in our book ('Ramona and her Father'), Ramona asks, "Then why can't we be a happy family?" Her father replies and tells her that they are, and that having a happy family does not mean that everyone in the family is happy all the time. This sparked a discussion with Laura and she brought it to my attention that she didn't think we had a happy family either. Slap. In. The. Face.
We ended up having a long talk about it, which involved a lot of tears from me, about what she thinks a Happy Family would look like. It is my soul goal in life for my kids to be happy. I mean, I'd like for Josh and I to be happy, too, but really, hearing that my kids don't think we have a happy family was really about the worst insult you could give me. And I know she wasn't trying to insult me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized things from her perspective: I harp on Josh for some little thing pretty often. Probably almost every day. Its nothing major, but its negative. She sees that. To me, its not a big deal, just something that he could improve on, or whatever. But maybe I should try to turn that around. Maybe instead of nagging, I should consciously try to compliment him on something he did well, or something that made me happy. It is so easy to focus on negative things. And the kids, well, I do make more of a conscious effort to positively reinforce behaviour I like, but lets be realistic, they receive a lot of correction throughout the day too. So, even though to me, I think things are going pretty well, and am happy most of the time, when I think about it a little more, I can see why Laura might think our family is not 'happy'. Reality check.
Part of it, too, I told myself, is that she is a child, and so her perception is a little skewed. She has no idea how bad a truly unhappy family could be. But then, does that really matter? That her perception is, in my opinion, skewed? Not really. She sees unhappiness, and that is her reality. Sigh.
She doesn't see my constant struggle to react calmly to situations I reflexively am angry about. I literally struggle with this on probably an hourly basis. Sometimes I tell her, "I really wanted to ______ when ________ happened, but instead I stayed calm and used my words (or whatever)." But I don't think she realizes how hard I try to model the behaviour I'd like to see. And though I fail daily, I like to think that overall I'm doing all right. But apparently she doesn't think so. Heart. Breaking.
I'm sure the tears on my part did not help. Laura immediately changed her stance, not being able to stand upsetting me in this way. She called Daddy to come up and help me stop crying, and also continued displacing her discomfort with the situation for much of our discussion. Oh. My. Soul. Feeling like such a failure tonight. :(
But tonight I was reading to Laura while we were waiting for Rachel to fall asleep, as we do most nights, and in our book ('Ramona and her Father'), Ramona asks, "Then why can't we be a happy family?" Her father replies and tells her that they are, and that having a happy family does not mean that everyone in the family is happy all the time. This sparked a discussion with Laura and she brought it to my attention that she didn't think we had a happy family either. Slap. In. The. Face.
We ended up having a long talk about it, which involved a lot of tears from me, about what she thinks a Happy Family would look like. It is my soul goal in life for my kids to be happy. I mean, I'd like for Josh and I to be happy, too, but really, hearing that my kids don't think we have a happy family was really about the worst insult you could give me. And I know she wasn't trying to insult me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized things from her perspective: I harp on Josh for some little thing pretty often. Probably almost every day. Its nothing major, but its negative. She sees that. To me, its not a big deal, just something that he could improve on, or whatever. But maybe I should try to turn that around. Maybe instead of nagging, I should consciously try to compliment him on something he did well, or something that made me happy. It is so easy to focus on negative things. And the kids, well, I do make more of a conscious effort to positively reinforce behaviour I like, but lets be realistic, they receive a lot of correction throughout the day too. So, even though to me, I think things are going pretty well, and am happy most of the time, when I think about it a little more, I can see why Laura might think our family is not 'happy'. Reality check.
Part of it, too, I told myself, is that she is a child, and so her perception is a little skewed. She has no idea how bad a truly unhappy family could be. But then, does that really matter? That her perception is, in my opinion, skewed? Not really. She sees unhappiness, and that is her reality. Sigh.
She doesn't see my constant struggle to react calmly to situations I reflexively am angry about. I literally struggle with this on probably an hourly basis. Sometimes I tell her, "I really wanted to ______ when ________ happened, but instead I stayed calm and used my words (or whatever)." But I don't think she realizes how hard I try to model the behaviour I'd like to see. And though I fail daily, I like to think that overall I'm doing all right. But apparently she doesn't think so. Heart. Breaking.
I'm sure the tears on my part did not help. Laura immediately changed her stance, not being able to stand upsetting me in this way. She called Daddy to come up and help me stop crying, and also continued displacing her discomfort with the situation for much of our discussion. Oh. My. Soul. Feeling like such a failure tonight. :(
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Operation Christmas Child
As a kid who went to a private Christian school, I am well-acquainted with the Operation Christmas Child initiative. However, I haven't given it much thought since participating as a child... until this year. While I was brainstorming ideas for our Christmas Spirit Elf, I remembered this program. I realized that the boxes probably needed to be sent off before the first of December (when our elf is due to arrive), though, and when I looked into it, I found that we just had a little over a week left to pack a box! Luckily, Rachel's preschool is run out of a church, so we were able to get the information there.
I had the girls watch the OCC promo video so they had an idea of what our project was all about, and then asked them which age/ gender of child they would like to pack for. Big surprise, they chose GIRL 2-4. :)
I took them out shopping, and with a little guidance, they picked out enough to fill two boxes of goodies to send to some special little girls overseas. They also donated a few of their own things that were new and unused.
We wrapped our boxes with pretty Christmas paper and packed them up. We also personalized them by tracing Laura and Rachel's hands on the inside saying "Heart to heart and hand in hand we stand." The girls also coloured pictures for them and we wrote them a little Christmas note. Hopefully we make some little girls' day when they receive them. :) <3
PS I am secretly dreaming of being able to go to help hand out the boxes one year. I think that would be amazing.
I had the girls watch the OCC promo video so they had an idea of what our project was all about, and then asked them which age/ gender of child they would like to pack for. Big surprise, they chose GIRL 2-4. :)
I took them out shopping, and with a little guidance, they picked out enough to fill two boxes of goodies to send to some special little girls overseas. They also donated a few of their own things that were new and unused.
We wrapped our boxes with pretty Christmas paper and packed them up. We also personalized them by tracing Laura and Rachel's hands on the inside saying "Heart to heart and hand in hand we stand." The girls also coloured pictures for them and we wrote them a little Christmas note. Hopefully we make some little girls' day when they receive them. :) <3
PS I am secretly dreaming of being able to go to help hand out the boxes one year. I think that would be amazing.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Rachel: Two-and-a-half!
Rachel is 30 months old today!
I will really miss when she stops adorably mispronouncing things like:
Clever little chicken she is. She has been pretty well potty trained since about 27 months, with a few accidents/ regressions here and there. Still nursing once in a while (maybe once every couple days) and still has bottle before bed (we brush teeth after though). Likes to be pantsless. She goes to school without a fuss now, and will resume going two days a week in January. Pretty independent - likes to feed herself and toilet on her own. She really likes most things her big sister is into (My Little Pony, etc), but also has her own interests. She loves colouring and making art. Loves gymnastics (though currently not enrolled) and is very serious about learning all the techniques correctly, yes, at 2.5 (and younger, even, she has been like that since she started lessons 6 months ago). And she loves playing with her big sister. They get along really well for the most part and engage in imaginative play together on a daily basis. It is so nice to see them get along so well. <3
Naps are quickly becoming a thing of the past. She only needs them about twice a week anymore. I am grateful that we don't have to plan days around sleep times anymore.
She can count to ten with little help, and she knows her colours fairly accurately.
She is a feisty little firecracker and knows what she wants. I am happy that she has the personality type to stand up for herself and what she thinks is right/ what she wants - much preferable to being a push over. I couldn't love her any more. <3
I will really miss when she stops adorably mispronouncing things like:
- oatmeal ("emeal")
- rice crispies ("rice creves")
- chipmunk ("ricrunk")
- potatoes ("petoes")
- remote ("meeyote")
- library ("bribary")
- candy cane ("candy candy")
- heffalump ("humpahump")
Clever little chicken she is. She has been pretty well potty trained since about 27 months, with a few accidents/ regressions here and there. Still nursing once in a while (maybe once every couple days) and still has bottle before bed (we brush teeth after though). Likes to be pantsless. She goes to school without a fuss now, and will resume going two days a week in January. Pretty independent - likes to feed herself and toilet on her own. She really likes most things her big sister is into (My Little Pony, etc), but also has her own interests. She loves colouring and making art. Loves gymnastics (though currently not enrolled) and is very serious about learning all the techniques correctly, yes, at 2.5 (and younger, even, she has been like that since she started lessons 6 months ago). And she loves playing with her big sister. They get along really well for the most part and engage in imaginative play together on a daily basis. It is so nice to see them get along so well. <3
Naps are quickly becoming a thing of the past. She only needs them about twice a week anymore. I am grateful that we don't have to plan days around sleep times anymore.
She can count to ten with little help, and she knows her colours fairly accurately.
She is a feisty little firecracker and knows what she wants. I am happy that she has the personality type to stand up for herself and what she thinks is right/ what she wants - much preferable to being a push over. I couldn't love her any more. <3
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Daylight Savings. Bah.
Parents seem to always complain that the time change wreaks havoc on their children's rhythms, but I had always dismissed it. We rarely have to be anywhere first thing in the morning, so it really didn't matter if the girls got up at 7 or 8 or 9, or when the went to bed, for that matter. We could take as long as we needed to to adjust to it naturally.
The problem now, is that Rachel wakes up at the first hint of any light coming through their black out curtains. And when she wakes up everyone else has to, too! So Laura has still been going to bed at the same time she was used to (9:00 post time change) but getting woken up close to an hour earlier because of her darling sister. This past week there has been a lot of sleep deficit in our house. And lots of meltdowns, subsequently. I'm officially in the "Time Changes Ruin My Life" Camp.
It's been a week now, so hopefully they have mostly got it sorted out. Blerg.
The problem now, is that Rachel wakes up at the first hint of any light coming through their black out curtains. And when she wakes up everyone else has to, too! So Laura has still been going to bed at the same time she was used to (9:00 post time change) but getting woken up close to an hour earlier because of her darling sister. This past week there has been a lot of sleep deficit in our house. And lots of meltdowns, subsequently. I'm officially in the "Time Changes Ruin My Life" Camp.
It's been a week now, so hopefully they have mostly got it sorted out. Blerg.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Happy Hallowe'en!
I decided a long time ago (as I tend to do) that I really wanted Rachel to be Boo from Monsters Inc. for Halloween this year. Naturally, Josh would have to be Sully, and Laura could go as Mike Wazowski. Even though neither of them are particularly into this movie at the moment, I ... ahem... convinced them it was a good idea for my own agenda. (Rachel will only be two years old once! Age-appropriate costumes, people!) I also had to convince Josh, who was not enthralled with the idea of going as a big fluffy blue guy. I reminded him that Sully was the Top Scarer. It didn't help. But, because they are all so awesome, the humoured me and went along with it. <3
The whole thing from start to finish ended up being a lot of work. Laura and I started working on her Mike Wazowski costume over a month ago. We did several layers of papier mache over the exercise ball, which she was excited about in theory, but in practice she really dislikes being messy/ sticky. Since she didn't like the goo, she ripped up newspaper for me, and lost interest after about 2nd or 3rd layer.
The other two costumes were also time consuming to make, but I think they all turned out pretty cute in the end. :) We had to cut off Boo's 'hood' after pictures because the weight of the mop on top was pulling it down and being obnoxious. Also, Sully's horns weren't really that lopsided, but we didn't take the time to straighten them before the picture because our trick or treating buddy had already been waiting a while for us to get ready.
As usual, it was cold and raining for trick or treating, so the kids didn't want to stay out too long. We still got a good haul of candy, though, thanks to high density housing (enough to last the four of us the weekend anyway ;) ) When we got home we, of course, dove right in. Josh and I were amused and pleased that the kids wanted all the crappy candy (gummy pizzas, no name marshmallow pumpkins, foil-wrapped chocolate eye balls, etc.) leaving the good, name brand candy for us! Win! LOL
Laura also said she likes handing out candy more than trick or treating. Fancy that! I'm sure she would change her tune if she actually realized that meant she wouldn't have candy of her own, though. ;)
Happy Halloween, All!
The whole thing from start to finish ended up being a lot of work. Laura and I started working on her Mike Wazowski costume over a month ago. We did several layers of papier mache over the exercise ball, which she was excited about in theory, but in practice she really dislikes being messy/ sticky. Since she didn't like the goo, she ripped up newspaper for me, and lost interest after about 2nd or 3rd layer.
The other two costumes were also time consuming to make, but I think they all turned out pretty cute in the end. :) We had to cut off Boo's 'hood' after pictures because the weight of the mop on top was pulling it down and being obnoxious. Also, Sully's horns weren't really that lopsided, but we didn't take the time to straighten them before the picture because our trick or treating buddy had already been waiting a while for us to get ready.
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| Rachel in her 'school' Boo costume |
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| The Trick or Treating costumes <3 |
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| Boo and Mike |
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| Our less than spectacular Monster's Inc pumpkins |
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| pumpkin carving the night before |
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| Laura's self portrait I just love this picture so much |
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| Rachel's scribbles all carved out. Toddler + slow exposure to capture glowing pumpkin = blurry. :/ |
As usual, it was cold and raining for trick or treating, so the kids didn't want to stay out too long. We still got a good haul of candy, though, thanks to high density housing (enough to last the four of us the weekend anyway ;) ) When we got home we, of course, dove right in. Josh and I were amused and pleased that the kids wanted all the crappy candy (gummy pizzas, no name marshmallow pumpkins, foil-wrapped chocolate eye balls, etc.) leaving the good, name brand candy for us! Win! LOL
Laura also said she likes handing out candy more than trick or treating. Fancy that! I'm sure she would change her tune if she actually realized that meant she wouldn't have candy of her own, though. ;)
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| Our Halloweeny dinner |
Happy Halloween, All!
Friday, October 3, 2014
I LOVE MAKING STUFF (III)
This past year's compilation of crafty endeavours:
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| Button lamp for Laura's room |
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| Rachel's 'Boots' costume |
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| another Very Hungry Caterpillar hat for a cousin's first birthday |
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| 'Dad' photo frame for Father's Day |
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| barefoot 'sandals' for one of Laura's preschool teachers |
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| Rachel's baby quilt |
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| Rachel's skirt |
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| Fairy house and garden |
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| Fairy chairs and toadstool table |
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| matching crocheted sunhats for the girls |
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| hair bow holder for the girls |
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| A country burlap wreath as a wedding present for Josh's cousin |
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| The benches from upcycled pallets and the cushion covers |
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| 'Bunny Rug' blanket for baby Hannah |
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| Cross-stitched Wreck It Ralph shirt for Rachel's fiance |
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| These sharkbite tops. Rachel had a matching one that I promptly lost (somehow) before she ever even got to wear it. I also made matching ones for our American cousins for when we visited. |
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| A quiet book about dinosaurs that I started a long time ago but finished before our road trip |
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| Another 'bunny rug' (they were my favourite thing when Laura was a baby, so I like making and giving them as gifts), and a little bear hat for my cousin's new baby |
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| ETA Oct 29: Another request for a hungry caterpillar hat for my friend's new cute little guy |
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